dreaming again?

Do you ever get the feeling that this is all a dream
a dream to wake from a dream to watch

watching this dream is so unreal
nothing makes sense
it all blends together
a capital offence

this dream i once had, it hasn't ended yet
despite short breaks it doesn't cease

a rant that should be in my diary

so uninspired
blank sheet that is my mind
i cannot blindly stumble unto this
endeavor, i have to know
i need to know how to begin
to begin
beginning is the most difficult part
it'll take me days to even think of skeletons
of what it could be

I am not a fountain of inspiration,
though i am a fountain of life
i am not creative
i simply try to speak the truth
when i lie, it rots
it festers inside my guts until

POW

I'm lying on the ground crying,
please im sorry
i don't know whats wrong with me
but i do know, i do i do
i make walls, walls with spikes on both sides
spikes that pierce the flesh of innocents

I AM A MEAN PERSON

choice - don't read

always a choice
always a choice
always a choice

wrong choice
Hurt choice
sad choice
bad choice
mad choice

always a choice
i can never pick
never pick never
pick
the right choice

always wrong
always screwing up
never enough
can't i please stop

please stop fighting
please stop arguing
i need peace,
i need peas
i need to eat
i need to stop

i need to do somthing else
focus on something else
look at the light
like water-falling
the dust dancing
spreading over everything

this isn't real, girl
this isn't real
this isn't
isn't
isn't
isn't

biting the inside of my cheek
flesh comes off
i bite the other side
blood
this isn't real
no choice
no choices in wonderland, only fate
no choice

always A CHOICE
there will always be A CHOICE
god i'm insane aren't i?
Do other people feel like this?

Preacher you can't save me

Preacher you can't save me now
my heart is as black as the devil's
now

Scripture won't save me now
no amount of  praise or apologies
will do

word flow

write as it comes to you
oh little lady with lots of hair
fingers hitting keyboards
like raindrops hitting the sidewalk
don't talk, don't filter
just write

write as if there is nothing here for you
write as if there is nothing left for you
but broken glass and ashes
these things have been smashed
broken beautiful things

suits a world of hate
just misunderstood
just holding on, i can't deal with things
right now,
privileged body not used to stress,
not used to pressure,
i will not thrive, i will wilt,
i will falter, i will survive

my fingers stopp produceding
i misspell words like first graders
i don't givee a damn about munctuation
just trying barely getting my pessage across
p's turn into m's
and ps is an after thought
just like my compassion

To kill a vampire

to kill a vampire
you must push a wooden stake
through its heart.

to kill a vampire
you must starve it of blood
human life

to kill a vampire
you must shoot a silver bullet
sickness starts

Nothing will kill these-
life sucking dead creatures
prey on weak, sick
despicable dark non-breather

Volcano

my CHEST has turned to FIRE
BURNING BURNING BURNING
my heart is charcoal
eating oxygen
eating my blood

Red liquid that sustains
like a boat on a sea
oh please oh please
rescue me

I feel as if i must
get rid of all the
unpleasantness
inside of me

Ropes curl and knot
in a cavern

My belly, burning ice

Palms sweat

Swears, curses erupt

Spewing from my mouth

Like magma from mountains

I can't control myself anymore